We are complex.
A trail of relational destruction. A sensation of constantly trying to hold everything together or carry the world, perhaps paired with coincidental neck cramps. The deep belief of never being good enough, which leads one into the arms of a narcississtic partner, or at the mercy of exploitative friends. A feeling of disorganisation and chaos in one's mind. Perhaps, it's the nothing that ironically hurts the most. Feeling non-existant, struggling to feel alive or feel anything at all.
You may have accepted these sensations, patterns and feelings as simply being a part of your life, or your mind. But they needn't be. So often, we are prisoners of our past. And it's often a complex space with many rooms that may need to be visited before some light can seep through.
These internal spaces may feel scary to explore on your own, since we have often unconsciously created many ways to avoid its contents. So, as a seasoned journeyer, I invite you to explore my site to begin to gauge whether you'd like to start a conversation with me about working together- whether I may be the right person to journey with you.
Despite the complexity of you, or your experience, I believe it is always possible to move forward in a direction that feels more authentic for you.
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How can it get better?
There are many resources out there today.
Sometimes, we start out with education - the intellectual soaking up of information about experiences that seem to resemble our internal experience. Information, or rather, intellectual understanding is important, but it is usually only one step toward healing.
Although our medical model of mental health may lead us to believe some 'disorders' are genetic, or an artefact of brain chemistry, it is becoming increasingly clear that nurture, or early relationships, play a larger role than we currently realise. A spectrum of different relational wounds can occur in the most ordinary of households to the most painful of households.
And, when wounding happens in relationship, true healing can only begin to occur in relationship.
Here is where psychodynamic therapy can help. At the core of psychodynamic theory is the premise that our psychological development is largely influenced by our early childhood experiences and our early attachment relationships. These learnings from these experiences remain relatively unconscious, but manifest in the way in which we relate to ourselves and others as we age.
The therapeutic relationship can be a safe, confidential and non-judgemental starting point to begin to notice these nuances, especially with a practitioner who is trained and highly attuned to attend to relational processes. Attending to these relational processes is vital to taper the unconscious recreation of relational wounds from your past. We can help heal them through connection, insight and feeling.
Doing so can ultimately help you intrinsically move towards a healthier style of relating both to yourself and to others. You may experience this internal change as one that is sustained over time because of the deeper structural changes that can occur within you in this kind of depth work.
You can read more about myself and my therapeutic style here.